Bristol Duncan Writes

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Tag Archives: parody

Percentages of Life

Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.


The Fox and the Grapes

One hot summer’s day, a fox strolled through an orchard until he came to a bunch of ripe grapes on a vine trained over a lofty branch.

“Just the thing to quench my thirst,” he cried.

Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a “One, Two, Three,” he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he sought the tempting morsels, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with his nose in the air, saying:

“I am sure they are sour.”

Moral: It is easy to despise what you cannot get.

Please post a comment if you know who this fable should be attributed to.

Drink To Feel

Never drink to feel better. Only drink to feel even better.

Post a comment if you know who this quote should be attributed to.

A Friend Is

A friend is someone before whom you may make a fool of yourself and they do not feel you’ve done a permanent job.

Post a comment if you know who this quote should be attributed to.

Things That Will Destroy Us

The things that will destroy us are:

  • politics without principle
  • pleasure without conscience
  • wealth without work
  • knowledge without character
  • business without morality
  • science without humanity
  • and worship without sacrifice

Writing A Storyline

My notes for writing an effective storyline.

Single sentence of 25 words or less.

Tell only the most interesting thread of the story.

Do not reference more than two characters.

Reference the character(s) that must overcome the biggest obstacle, has the most significant paradox, severe contradiction in personal values and/or plays the strongest role in the story.

Unless it’s a famous character like Yoda, don’t use the characters’ name. Instead, provide a description using adjectives that evoke feelings of sympathy (e.g. vulnerable), places them outside the norm (e.g. telepathic), or both (e.q. disabled).

Omit anything that isn’t absolutely essential to leaving an impression compelling the reader to want more.

Look at the New York Times best sellers list has lots of examples – Click Here.


An escort, desperate to pay for her upcoming wedding, is trapped in a box and tormented.

A closer look at the telepathic waitress Sookie Stackhouse, her family and, of course, her lovers.

BUY IT AT AMAZON: The Sookie Stackhouse Companion (Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood)

Doors of Life

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.

Fox News Skit

It saddens me that 24 hours news networks like Fox News have turned American politics into a Saturday Night Live skit.

Fighting in High School

I have wreaked some serious physical damage on a number of deserving people, but I’ve only shot one living thing in my life. The Ward’s had a son about my age, Tim I think is his name. When I was 12, we were in the woods with our pellet guns shooting whatever. Only Tim decides to start shooting living things, like birds. He was a lousy shot so he missed the first one. When he lined up on the second I aimed at him and told him in no uncertain terms that if he shot that bird, I would shoot him. He did, so I did, through and through in the leg.

I don’t recall having any real problems with anyone outside of my family growing up. I pointedly avoided fights after it cost me the affections of a girl I really, really liked.

I’ll give you the short version. I interrupted a guy raping her. His buddy was happy to hold my scrawny ass at bay. Their happiness was short lived. I beat them like a toy drum. I’ll never forget what she said to me a few days later:

“All I see when I look at you is you standing there covered in blood, with that piercing look on your face, talking to me with no emotion in your voice. I never want to look at you again.”

She swore me to secrecy and I was ok with it because the guys were from Sherman hence, she wouldn’t have to see them. That and they both had to drop out of sports because far as I know, some of their body parts still don’t work right. They reported it as a drunken dirt bike accident.


Almost dying is kind of like sex in high school.  If you ever found out how many times it almost happened to you, you’d be amazed.

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